“So many of us chose our path out of\nfear disguised as practicality,” Jim Carrey once said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“My father could have been a great\ncomedian, but he didn’t believe that was possible for him. So, he made a\nconservative choice and instead he got a job as an accountant.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n
“When I was 12 years old, he was let\ngo from that safe job. Our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I\nlearned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which is that you\ncan fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing\nwhat you love.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For those of you who do not know Jim\nCarrey\u2019s story, when he says his family had to do \u201cwhatever we could to\nsurvive\u201d he\u2019s not referring to clipping coupons. His family lived out of a VW\nbus for periods of time. For a while, he was living in a tent. In Canada. This\nwas what happened to his family after his father made the \u201cright\u201d choice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, this anecdote isn\u2019t here to tell you,\n\u201ctry to go pro in poker, screw it!\u201d It\u2019s here to remind you of a sad fact: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\u2019re never safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
None of us is ever safe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The present is a gift because our health\nshould not be taken for granted. Sadly, some are afflicted with cancer early.\nOthers develop debilitating depression that takes years of concerted care to\nbreak through. If they ever break through it at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If we are healthy, then there are always\nfinances. Financial issues are the norm, not the exception. Most people at some\npoint in their lives will struggle with a financial issue. This is why family\nand specialized education is so important. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If our health and finances are in order,\nthen there is still the matter of our family members. Sadly, most of us will\nhave to deal with our parents becoming sick at some point. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, I\u2019m sure at this point you\u2019re reading\nthis article and going, \u201cwhat\u2019s your problem Alex? I didn\u2019t want to read this\ntoday.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I get it. When a mentor of mine confronted\nme with this information, I was pissed as well. But then he got through to me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We need to know that the present is a gift.\nWe need to show appreciation through the effort we give. Because if everything\nis going well, that is a gift. So much can go wrong, and at some point, it\u2019s\nlikely something will go wrong. We are never 100% safe from discomforting\ncircumstances. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In this realization, however, there is\npower.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes. It empowers us to know that we are\nnever safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My friend is a tour manager. When he\u2019s not\nworried about hissing speakers, failing tour buses, and promoters not paying\nup, he still has to deal with musicians every single night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During one particularly brutal tour, my\nfriend told me one of the band members said they weren\u2019t going to play music\nanymore. Keep in mind, this band member quitting would have ensured my friend\nwould lose his job. My friend had to talk to this diva about why he had to do\nthe job he was already paid to do, and not endanger everybody else\u2019s\nlivelihood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I asked him the obvious question, \u201cdoes\nyour job get too stressful at times?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, man, I love it,\u201d he answered without missing a beat. \u201cI love the chaos. I love knowing no one else could handle this shit but me. I love my job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did you read in that statement?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I saw, in those brief sentences, the mark of a pro<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Look at everything he said there. \u201cI love\nthe chaos. I love knowing no one else could handle this shit but me.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n He owns his responsibilities. He owns the\nfact he\u2019s never safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He could complain about his job. He\u2019d have\nevery right. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Yet, he recognizes, as a man should, that\nhe is the one who took the gig. He refuses to complain about his\nresponsibilities. Instead, he takes ownership of them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Look at the emotional intelligence of his\nposition. \u201cI love the chaos.\u201d That is someone who views challenges as a chance\nto grow. How far can this man go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Look at the self-care. \u201cI love knowing no\none else could handle this shit but me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My friend is a kind man. He is sensitive and quick to love. He believes in people, is patient with them, and is always there for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n However, he knows he can only provide for\nothers if he has a spine. He can\u2019t pour from an empty vessel. He takes care of\nhimself first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He takes ownership of his job. To say, \u201cI love knowing no one else can do this but me,\u201d he must show up every single day and be ready to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His faith in himself gives him joy. With that earned self-esteem, he is a giving man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can always identify a man like this.\nThere are telltale signs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My friend is no different. <\/p>\n\n\n\n People love being around him. Wealthy men loan him their vacation homes. Women far beyond his \u201cleague\u201d fall for him. He lives like a rich man despite not caring much for money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you know why he can have this life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n He is antifragile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He doesn\u2019t begrudge chaos. He understands\nhe grows through chaos and stressors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He could teach us a great deal about our lives, but let\u2019s turn our gaze to poker now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Poker is a great teacher. Poker is pure\nchaos. The one who learns to love the storm becomes the one who harnesses it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You see many players these days who want the exact opposite of chaos. They want perfect ranges<\/a> and rules<\/a> they can apply to every situation. They want games where everybody behaves according to their unspoken rules. They become frustrated when players throw them curve balls instead of appreciating the situation as an opportunity to grow. They stick religiously to their preordained rules instead of keeping their eyes open and appreciating the storm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To become adept at life we must embrace our\nresponsibilities. Our chief responsibility in life is to handle constantly\nevolving conditions that always threaten us. The Stoics have literally been\ndiscussing this for thousands of years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n To embrace life more fully, I think one can learn terrific lessons through the card table. But this will only occur if we take ownership of the fact we\u2019re never safe, that no perfect plan will save us. We will only become more skilled if we learn to love new challenges and keep our eyes open. <\/p>\n\n\n\nTaking Responsability<\/h2>\n\n\n\n